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27 January, 2014

Beware spam emails about Viagra . And other www problems.

I received an email the other day from that well known Canadian pharmacy. It's actually ironic that in the UK you get spam from them then when you go to Canada there are The London Drug company all over the place. Anyway I digress as usual.
The thing is that the email said - click on the link about the link below the one above if you don't want to not unselect the preselected purchase of Viagra. It further said, and I didn't notice this it at the time, that if I failed to unselect the selected tick in the box above the one below they would continue to supply me with Viagra until I had re selected the unselected tick box.
 
Anyway the result was that five days later I got home to find a card from the courier saying that I was out when they called and if I phoned the 0898 number on the card for just 98p a minute I could re-schedule the delivery to a time when I would be in. Intregued as I hadn't realised I had ordered anything I phone the number and after only 30minutes of selecting numbers and pressing stars and hashes my deliver was all set for 4pm the next day.
 
At 8am while I was out my delivery arrived and was left piled outside the front door. Fifty bright blue paper bags with "Extra strength Viagra" in orange emblazoned on each bag. The old lady opposite twitched her curtains as I moved the bags to gain access to my door.
 
On the doormat inside was the delivery note and an invoice for a rather large sum from The Canadian pharmacy for one tonne of Viagra pills.
I wasn't too worried about the bill, after all I am about to be very very rich once the money from the bank of Nigeria clears in my account from my distant relatives' sad accident, so all I needed to do was sent all the parcels back hence I left them on the doorstep.
 
If you don't live in the UK you might not know that recently we have been having quite a lot of rain here, and while I was desperately trying to find a contact number for the Canadian pharmacy I hadn't noticed that it was pouring with rain.
Canada being an environmentally aware country , ok ignore the tar sands, use paper packaging as it's easier to recycle. It also goes very soggy in the rain and by the time I had given up trying to return the packages they were dissolving and floating accross the lawn and over the flower beds.
 
Ok, I though, messy but it will wash away eventually.
 
But no, not so simple, leaving the house this morning I opened the door to find every blade of grass on the lawn has turned into a green nail, pointing straight up and solid as steel. You can't bend it, walk on it or cut it, 3 cats and a hedgehog are pinned into it. If I manage to push a blade of grass down it just springs straight up again. Its lethal.
 
So please anyone, is their an antidote to Viagra lawn, or do I just have to go and rub it gently until it eventually goes back to being soft?
 

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