Life, The Universe and Small Things all covered in one friendly blog.
Remember DON'T PANIC! .

31 December, 2008

New Years Honours

It's that time of year again when well deserving people are recognised and given something for their efforts.
People like Lewis Hamilton, a person who has done so much for his own bank balance that he is too rich to stay in Britain. Or Chris Hoy, a man who rode a bike, and for doing sod all but riding a bike for years he becomes a Knight. Anyone who did nothing but ride a bike all day would become good at it too. Oh, and aren't Knights supposed to ride a trusty steeds not a bike.

Everyone, in the real world anyway, knows that the Queens Honours are senseless, and yet for some reason they still exist in this the 21st Century. It is impossible to see why someone gets an honour for making themselves rich. Previous honours have seen top bankers and people from finance being knighted, and yet this year has shown what a thieving incompetent lot they really are.

Some have been saying that it is because of Chris Hoy that so many people took up cycling this year, isn't it more likely because petrol hit £1.28 a litre.
While doctors, nurses, truck drivers, power station workers, water purification plant staff, refuse collectors and the millions more service industry staff continue to ensure this country functions it is hard to see how riding a bike or becoming a millionaire is worthy of an honour. Take away the guy who makes rubber and see how fast Hamilton or Hoy travel, but where are they in the honours.

The whole honours process is a farce, so maybe we should set up the people's honours. A list where people who make a difference are recognised, where Fred the dustman and Mrs Miggins the pie maker are realised for their worth in society, where the lad who works on the checkout is knighted rather than the fat cat owning the firm.

The world changed in 2008 when we saw that the rich are sometimes rich because they are crooked and the powerful are usually the most corrupt of all. Maybe in 2009 the small people who do the work can be crowned the heroes. Maybe.

The Old School

There are untold properties in the UK with names of The Old Post Office, The Old Station House, The Old Rectory and then one that maybe even more prolific The Old School House.
I mention this as after driving past a school yesterday, the damp looking portacabins with flaking paint on hardly shutting windows with the lifting felt of flat roofs and I wondered why all the Old School Houses were sold off.

Contrasting a portacabin with these old school houses and I know which building I would rather be educated in.

With the government selling off everything, if they ever sell off 10 Downing Street I wonder what it would be called.
The Old Fools House maybe.

16 December, 2008

As Safe as a Bank.

There was a time when I would be impressed if someone said that they were in banking and finance . Crikey I would think, here is a person who has done well in life and knows a thing or two about money.

I have friends in banking and I thought they were clever, probably had a few A'levels or maybe even a degree. Friends who's advice was trusted, views respected and hard work admired.
Today things are different, if I happen to meet these friends I will put my wallet into a zipped pocket and definitely won't give them the money to get a round while I pop to the smallest room.

Is it just me or is it worrying that Bank Manager is an occupation that allows the verification of a passport application.

It is bad enough that banks lent billions to people who can't pay it back, but we now hear that many banks, trusted with looking after our money, had invested it in a pyramid selling scam.
Not just a few pounds sent to a scam circulated on the Internet but billions of pounds sent to nonexistent investments. How can this possibly be, banking is not rocket science, all you to do is look after money. And to do that you simply have to check that where you put it is safe.

Readers of my blog will remember earlier this year that I offered to put your money into a plastic box and keep it safe in my garden. I have had very few takers but by crikey I bet Santander wish they had called me. Their 2 billion maybe a little damp but at least it would still there.

Maybe it is time to release armed robbers from prison and lock up the bankers, at least with a robbery you have a chance of holding onto some of your money.

14 December, 2008


I was at the gym the other day. One thing I can not avoid there, other than trying to keep pace with people about 20 years younger than me and regretting it the next day, is seeing the SKY news. It is always on one of the large screens Although I never hear it, because I am plugged into my MP3 player, I see the scrolling texts.

There is always a Breaking News story and on this occasion it was the Met Police shooting of the commuter, you know the one who's name seems to get longer each time it is reported.
SKY kept cutting to a police officer reading something then off to diagrams of a tube train then back the studio to see a big red "Breaking News" flash up followed by a police officer reading a statement and so on.

As often seems to be the case with SKY Breaking News is neither breaking or news, but more a recycled version of what you heard a week ago with a big red headline to make is seem more in interesting. I doubt there are many people in the country who don't know about the shooting they were talking about so the news could simply have said that the verdict was whatever it was and then moved onto something actually worth reporting. Yet they managed to fill at least an hour with information that is of no more use to most people than the woffling in these blogs.

Why does the news sensationalise the smallest thing into a feature length epic and assume that we have forgotten what they told us a week ago.

I was at the gym the other day. One thing I can not avoid there, other than trying to keep pace with people about 20 years younger than me and regretting it the next day, is seeing the SKY news. It is always on one of the large screens Although I never hear it, because I am plugged into my MP3 player, I see the scrolling texts.................................................................

12 December, 2008

Your fired! Please stay on and wreck the company.

We live in a world where one person can cause catastrophic damage to a company from the comfort of their own desk. Millions have the power to crash a firm from there computer terminal. For exactly that reason when someone is fired or being made redundant they will be escorted from the office the same day and put on gardening leave.

If you let an employee stay on in a disgruntled state why wouldn't they decide to exact revenge. But hold on one moment, we have one such employee, his name is Gordon Brown and he is doing exactly what has to be prevented in any company, he is trashing the place before he leaves.

There isn't a hope in hell that the "unelected" PM will get in at the next election, or if he does it will be another Labour scam, so what has he got to lose.
He is demented if he believes that he is really doing his best for the country. No one in their right mind thinks that what he is doing is right but anyone who speaks out against him risks losing their job, being arrested or maybe found dead on the edge of a field.

Remember Gordon is not only the man who told us that boom and bust was over but also the one, who just a few weeks ago, told us that Britain was well placed to ride out any recession. Just before we started on this ride down the plug hole.

Now jobs are going, the pound is sinking and my beer in Austria in a few weeks time will cost me a fiver.

Even the Germans are telling him he is wrong, his response in true Brown style is that everyone is wrong but him.

There must be someone who can escort this man from office, or does he get to trash the whole place before he leaves?