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14 February, 2014

Climate Change - The Mad Scientists Take Over

We all spot the nutter walking down the street, shouting at lamp posts or yelling that "the end of the world is nigh" or telling himself jokes and then laughing for ages.
But what about the other kind of nutter, the one who has gained respectability, the ones that people listen to and believed, whos opinions make the papers, tv and radio. I am talking about those people who become so obsessed with their own theories and research that they can never believe anyone else can be right. People who spend their whole life proving their theories are right, never considering another option, people who become scientists and PROFESSORS.
A strange title and more often than not the people who obtain it seem to go completely off the rails. There is the old saying "to learn more and more about less and less, until you know absolutely everything, about nothing", basically saying that as they study they lose perspective on the "wider picture" to use management speak.
We have a local retired guy here who still uses his title professor whenever he is spouting nonsence in the papers, retired means he is no longer a professor I believe, or am I missing something and should be using my old work title on the blog to give it more authority.
A professor on TV the other day looked like he hadn't had a wash in a year and never seen a razor and was so obviously living on planet Zob that I expected him to starts singing in a Spike Milligan voice. They are all completely gaga the only difference from the guy walking down the street laughing at himself is title Professor or scientist.
It's been a tad wet and windy in the UK of late and rather dry and hot in other places in the world, which according to various Professors means CLIMATE CHANGE, they don't call it global warming now because too many people though that would be rather nice in the UK.
No matter what other views there are in the world Climate Change is now real because the professors say so and not only is it real there is no doubt at all that its all caused by man.
Please at this point ignore the blindingly obvious fact that after the last ice age there were no industries pumping out CO2 or fields of beef cattle farting too much. Believe the Professors and mad scientists because they are right, they tell us so. Oh and if you don't agree you are a climate change skeptic or worse still denier.
It wouldn't be so bad if all these mad scientists were doing was costing us a bit in tax on all the GREEN and ECO nonsence that government tax us on but now we are in serious trouble.
This Is The Scary Bit
There are at least two schemes that are being considered and maybe even implemented (please god no) that should scare everyone.
Number 1 bad idea - To spray salt water high into the sky to make clouds and reduce global warming.
Number 2 bad idea - To spray week sulphuric acid high into the atmosphere.
So the acid rain we have already is that caused because they have started idea 2 ? and is all the extra rain in the UK because they have started idea 1?
Who knows, but if the mad scientists are allowed to risk totally destroying the world by playing with the weather then perhaps next time I see the mad guy in town I will give him a fiver and a friendly smile, because at least his can of extra strength larger won't destroy the planet.

13 February, 2014

Don't Pay That Parking "Fine" its possibly just an Invoice.

An article I read the other day said a well known supermarket (with blue and white bags) was going to start dishing out "fines" to anyone without children who park in the parent and child bays.
After asking "why the heck should people with children get priority parking when a lot of both the children and parents need the exercise" there is also the questions what right have they got to impose the "fine" and what right has the DVLA to sell our details to anyone calling themselves a parking firm?

Thankfully the DVLA question is now (Feb 2014) being raised in parliament but the others I am interested in here.

When you park on private land with notices saying - so long free, parent only, shoppers only, and if you overstay or forget to bring the 2yo out with you or park too close to an imaginary line only a parking attendant can see, you agree to pay £100 etc etc, what you are doing is entering into a contract with the owner of the land. So if you park for 121minutes or only had the dog with you not little Madaline you have breached a contract, not broken any laws.
The notice that is placed upon your car in a private car park or sent to you through the post by one of the CCTV controled supermarket carparks is not a fine notice, it will do everything it can to look like one, which can in some circumstances be an offence in itself, but it is an invoice. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Unless it is issued by the police or a local authority its an invoice so feel free to chuck it in the bin and ignore it, all you actually do is break your contract over parking. You don't commit a crime.
There are masses of contract laws that apply in the UK but all I need to say is this, if you break a contract the person who you had the contract with can seek to claim back their losses.
Not a massive unreasonable sum like £100 just their losses.
For example if you overstayed in a shop car park and there were 100 other spaces free at the time they would be hard pressed to say they had lost anything.
If you got the ticket because you parked accross 2 bays and you did it for say 2 hours and parking is £1 an hour their losses are £2 not £100. So offer them £4 and say thats all they are getting.
If you parked in a parents bay without the kids their losses are probably diddly squat.
There have been some brilliant cases recently where the company patroling the private car park was not even being employed by the land owner, those invoices can go straight in the bin. Oh hang on they all can.
The Government mistakenly passed a law in 2012 requiring the owner of a car to tell the scumbag parking people who was the driver but after you have complied with that bit you are done.
The reason why the private land parking industry is taking £50,000,000 a year off of drivers is because people have let them.
They can't put a marker on your credit rating, they can't send in the bailiff unless a court has heard the case and ruled against you and they cant clamp your car. If the person writing the ticket sees you and asks you anything you dont have to say a word.
Although if I am ever ticketed for parking in a parent and child bay I shall be informing the person issuing it that I do indeed have children with me, they are in the boot, and no I am not opening it because they might escape.
Fixing your number plates with velcro and removing them in private car parks is another way to defeat these scumbags, I mean companies, come to think of it with no police on the roads maybe just ditch the plates completely?!
If everyone told these companies 'see you in court' they would rapidly go out of business and the sooner that happens the better!
More information can be obtained here

11 February, 2014

The Great British Carrier Bag Scam

I wrote about the governments obsession with plastic bags all the way back in 2008 (political sketch ) it seems that the politicians are still at it.
Interestingly the mega tides we had recently left hundreds of plastic bottles at the new high tide mark on the marshes but I couldn't see a single carrier bag, still the campaigners and government tell us that we need to pay for our bags to protect the sea life.

From next year we are all to pay for them no doubt putting people who work at carrier bag manufactures out of a job.
Another group of mad do gooders want the charge to apply to paper bags as well, and to all shops even when you pick up your takeaway and they put all those individial dishes into a bag for you.

It will start at 10p then probably go to 15p and before we know it be £1 a bag as the Government spouts piffle that the money raised is going to charity, as if any sane person believes that, or that charities actually do anyone any good except for the people running them.

Its a tax, its nothing else. Saving the planet by paying for a paper bag yet at the same time allowing the Royal Mail to fill everyones recycling sack with a ton of useless junk mail a week.
Have you ever seen an animal stuck in a paper bag? We have a group of politicians who in the main couldnt fight their way out of a wet one, but honestly someone inject some sense into this country and call a halt to this stupidity.

If some good is to be achieved then put a 50pence deposit on all plastic bottles and cans, that will achieve far more, in Canada they have a return value on all plastic bottles and drinks cans so even the tramps go around collecting them in shopping trolleys and you never see them littering the streets.

It will be fun in the supermarket when I decline to pay the carrier bag tax and start taking 4 items off of the belt at a time to the car, I think they will give me free bags then.

07 February, 2014

Inflation - The self fulfilling prophesy

I wrote a few days ago that I am unfortunate, I have a phone contract with O2, well I say phone contract its more of the CON as there are hardly any places here that I can use the phone, so after their second hike in prices I decided enough was enough and phoned the customer services to ask how I cancel my contract.
I gave up after I couldn't stand the music on hold any longer but I did get through with the online chat thingy.
The guy I got through to told me how wonderful O2 are and how they provide the best service to customers and all the usual guff that call centre staff have to say then he went on to really annoy me. He kept saying that O2 have to put up their prices because of inflation because everything is going up.

No one seems to be asking this question so I will, Everything is going up because of inflation, but what is causing inflation? Oh yes that will be everything going up in price, yes ?
Lets ask another way, wages aren't going up (unless you are a politician then feel freee to have 11%) so if wages aren't going up it follows that manufacturing costs aren't going up either...... I hear someone shout its the cost of materials that has gone up. Why? They are made/extracted/developed/grown by people whoaren't getting paid any more than they were. So the cost of materials is going up because of what, inflation? Its a circle of events and nothing is putting the prices up so where does inflation come from?
The answer is so simple . Inflation is caused by big companies putting prices up because they have to because of inflation, inflation which is caused by them putting prices up because of inflation, inflation which is caused by them putting prices up because of inflation, inflation which is caused by them putting prices up because of inflation, inflation which is caused by them putting prices up because of inflation, inflation which is caused by them putting prices up because of inflation, inflation which is caused by them putting prices up because of inflation, inflation which is caused by them putting prices up because of inflation which.............

(commas and punctuation may be added or moved in the above until you are happy with the way it reads. I tried but gave up)

01 February, 2014

You are better off in an association. Join SCA now!

It seems that everyone on the news is from an association or federation of some kind, the federation of small businesses the association of pipe fitters or the association of old ladies who bake bread.
The people who turn up to be interviewed sit in the studio saying things like "our members tell us that....." or "We want government to recognise that our members ...... ", but when you start looking at some of these associations/federations you realise that what they actually do is often obscure.
One group I looked into states as its main aim "giving our members a voice" whatever that means.
One thing that these groups have in common is that they take money from their "members" and have a jolly nice time on it.
Some associations take a percentage of turnover of its members to pay their executives huge salaries and bonuses, with annual incomes of millions they actually produce nothing, just providing the "platform for its members" or "representing them" to or at or in someplace.
It has to be the easiest way to make money, yet people and businesses join, scared that if they are the only people in a particular sector not in its federation they will miss out on whatever there could one day be, they might be paying a million a year but it will all be worth it one day, perhaps,maybe.
Some Associations have the decency to put in their title that it is all a bit dodgy, take for example The CONfederation of British Industry (CBI) now thats clever, tell people its a con so if they ever realise you do nothing but get rich off them you are covered.
Today is your big chance to be part of a new massive association, join now and tell everyone you have.
The exciting Send Currency Association membership (SCAm) is for everyone.
As an organisation we promise to not only give our members a voice and a platform but also a big window sticker and a badge.
Our motto "We Care So You Don't Have To" means that once you are part of SCA membership you can go through life safe and happy in the knowledge that no matter what happens we will be looking out for our best interests. Whether it is giving you a voice at our 3 month long winter conference in Florida or taking the platform for you at the all summer meetings in the Algarve, we do it all.
Sign over just 5% of your salary, or £5000, whichever is the greater, for full annual membership and you instantly have the right to wear the badge, display the window stickers and say that you are part of the Association, ensure that you are never left out again and JOIN NOW.
As an an association we negotiate, represent and demand on your behalf whenever matters affecting SCA members come to our attention.
Its important that you join, those who decide not to will be left out when the big happening happens, as everyone knows inclusion in the modern world is everything.
Membership is not limited to humans, contact us for information on our pet and deceased person membership rates.
Terms and conditions apply.
Membership is conditional upon contiuned payments.
The Association is not responsible.

30 January, 2014

If O2 ran a pub.

I am one of the unlucky people who has a phone contract with O2, it was a big mistake I know but when I started with them many years ago they weren't as bloody awful as they are today.
It's not just their systems that are useless , they also employ a mix of very good and totally useless staff. Unfortunately the local store assistant manager falls into the totally useless category and I have other people backing me up on that one.
The biggest trouble with O2 is that they just don't give a stuff about customers, just getting through to their customer services can take an hour, and when you do get through they will make excuses for everything and if you are too much trouble simpy hang up on you.
Another infuriating thing is that they increase your tarrif mid contract saying that they are doing so for the benefit of customers to upgrade this or that, yet where I live I can't even send an iMessage, open a web page or update twitter when I am away from my own wifi connection. (Not with O2)
All this got me thinking what if O2 took over other things, perhaps decided to run a pub. So using my experiences of the Colchester O2 shop, their customer services and other people I know experiences this is how I think it will be run.......
The pub will be easy to find but getting in it will be a big problem, doormen will hold you outside for no reason, take loads of personal details and eventually let you in to be met by another doorman who would take all your details again before moving you into the actual bar.
The barman (or woman) will tell you that they are the pub manager, and no matter which barman (or woman) served you they will tell you the same thing.
All the barmen and women will wear an O2 uniform, tell you its an O2 pub then tell you that the pub is owned by Pubifonica in Spain and if you have any complaints contact them. If you appear confused they will make sarcastic remarks to you.
Licensing laws will be anything the "manager" decided and no matter what UK laws said it will not apply to the O2 pub, who will operate under their own "policies" which are above the law.
You will order 4Gin and tonics and receive 2Gins and be asked to pay extra for the tonics, there will also be a charge for the glass, unless you had taken your own.
You will be required to use all the tonic at once, if there is too much for the glass you will have to throw the rest away because their policy says you can't carry over tonic to the next gin.
As you walk away from the bar a member of staff will call you back and inform you that the price has just increased and you needed to pay more for the drinks you already have. If you refused they will take the drinks back and claim you owe for the use of the glass.
The jukebox in the pub will play every other word of songs and occasionally stop completely, restart the last track, stop again then display "Song failed" and turn off. The volume will go from full to off every few minutes.
As you take the first sip of the Gin and realise it is vodka so return it to the bar you will be told that you only had 14seconds to complain about a drink, after that they are not interested, yes yes they know you would like to think that the law says they should sell you what you ask for but "policy" said they don't have to.
As you try to complain they will pick up a phone dial a number and hand it to you telling you if you don't like it talk to customer services.
Eventually you will realise that O2 isn't the pub for you but they have locked the doors and you can't leave unless you pay a penalty.
So if O2 ran a pub it would definitely be somewhere to avoid, thankfully they don't so you only need to avoid joining their phone service, or like me look forward to when you can leave..... Without paying a penalty.

27 January, 2014

Beware spam emails about Viagra . And other www problems.

I received an email the other day from that well known Canadian pharmacy. It's actually ironic that in the UK you get spam from them then when you go to Canada there are The London Drug company all over the place. Anyway I digress as usual.
The thing is that the email said - click on the link about the link below the one above if you don't want to not unselect the preselected purchase of Viagra. It further said, and I didn't notice this it at the time, that if I failed to unselect the selected tick in the box above the one below they would continue to supply me with Viagra until I had re selected the unselected tick box.
Anyway the result was that five days later I got home to find a card from the courier saying that I was out when they called and if I phoned the 0898 number on the card for just 98p a minute I could re-schedule the delivery to a time when I would be in. Intregued as I hadn't realised I had ordered anything I phone the number and after only 30minutes of selecting numbers and pressing stars and hashes my deliver was all set for 4pm the next day.
At 8am while I was out my delivery arrived and was left piled outside the front door. Fifty bright blue paper bags with "Extra strength Viagra" in orange emblazoned on each bag. The old lady opposite twitched her curtains as I moved the bags to gain access to my door.
On the doormat inside was the delivery note and an invoice for a rather large sum from The Canadian pharmacy for one tonne of Viagra pills.
I wasn't too worried about the bill, after all I am about to be very very rich once the money from the bank of Nigeria clears in my account from my distant relatives' sad accident, so all I needed to do was sent all the parcels back hence I left them on the doorstep.
If you don't live in the UK you might not know that recently we have been having quite a lot of rain here, and while I was desperately trying to find a contact number for the Canadian pharmacy I hadn't noticed that it was pouring with rain.
Canada being an environmentally aware country , ok ignore the tar sands, use paper packaging as it's easier to recycle. It also goes very soggy in the rain and by the time I had given up trying to return the packages they were dissolving and floating accross the lawn and over the flower beds.
Ok, I though, messy but it will wash away eventually.
But no, not so simple, leaving the house this morning I opened the door to find every blade of grass on the lawn has turned into a green nail, pointing straight up and solid as steel. You can't bend it, walk on it or cut it, 3 cats and a hedgehog are pinned into it. If I manage to push a blade of grass down it just springs straight up again. Its lethal.
So please anyone, is their an antidote to Viagra lawn, or do I just have to go and rub it gently until it eventually goes back to being soft?

Take these drugs Kids - Don't take drugs kids!

Millions of pounds are spent on educating children with "SAY NO TO DRUGS" "HUGS ARE BETTER THAN DRUGS" and various other reasonably pointless slogans that make police and teachers feel they have done something to dissuade them from trying things like cannabis or cocaine.

Then in a supermarket the other day walking past the dispensary I overheard a man with a very small child telling the pharmacist that the child had some ailment and that he had given him this drug but thought he needed that drug and the pharmacist was asking has he tried something else, I realised its a pretty mixed message children are receiving.

But it is what people do these days, as soon as little Jonny has the slightest perceived ailment its off to the chemist or worse to a G.P. to get a drug that will in their mind cure the problem. Never a thought that left alone the child will get better naturally.


The reason they do this .......our good friends in advertising.


Drug companies produce ads for "gentle medicines" "safe for children" and sell drugs for the baby from age 1day. There is something to give them for everything from nappy rash or crying too softly or because mum thinks the child is too hot or too cold, or maybe just a little pill to make them sleep while parents go off down the tapas bar with friends every night. Its usually in nice packages that say hey look give your child this it's perfectly safe we gave a mouse 300 doses and it only died once!


Doctors prescribe no end of antibiotics to children for the slightest ailment ignoring the evidence that many of these drugs don't cure much of what they are given for and also destroy the child's natural ability to fight off viruses and bugs, sometimes for the rest of their lives.


So remember kids SAY NO TO DRUGS, unless they are given to you by a man (or woman) wearing an unnecessary white coat, in which case remember to take the entire course because if you don't your natural ability to recover from illness might just still be with you as an adult !





17 January, 2014

Cancer Research - And why they have to fail forever.

We all know someone who has done a charity event for Cancer Research, usually something pointless like a run, a walk or as some woman told me the other day given up alcohol for a month.
When cancer research first started over 70 years ago there was probably a genuine wish to find a cure, to save lives and to make the ill well again. But as time progressed and the big drug companies took hold things changed and changed rapidly. Now the cures have to be hidden.

A drug company only has so many years that it holds the patent for its drugs during which time it can basically charge what it likes, but once this expires other companies can make the drug and this is the time that a lot of drugs are suddenly discovered to be either not as good as suggested or just darn right dangerous. So hey presto the drug company comes along with a new drug to replace the old one and the cycle starts again. Thereby ensuring that any other company who is now making the drug has a hard time trying to sell it.
Seriously this is how it works, I'm not making it up. Over the years £billions has been paid out in compensation for people killed and injured taking dangerous prescription drugs. It's all about the money, not making people well.

Only by selling drugs will the company make a profit, no way would they ever want to release a pill that for example cures the common cold with one dose, that would be a disaster, far better to sell you lots of other products that will reduce the length of your cold from 7 days to just a week and need to be taken 3 times a day.

Returning to the point, Cancer "research" employs millions of people around the world, from charity collections to supposed research and development of drugs.
Cancer Research UK alone employs thousands of people and over 4000 of these are earning over £60,000 a year with many on over £100,000 a year and the big boss earning £260,000 a year. That's the charity people, nothing to do with researching. A massive £1.5million is spent just on their top earners. And every one of them is out of work if ever a careless scientist let's slip that cancer was cured years ago.

There is also the vast sums of money to be made for all the ongoing treatments that bring in masses of money, like chemo and radiotherapy. Many of these treatments have never saved a life, no really they haven't. People survive cancer despite the treatment in many cases, not because of it, especially in the USA where everyone pays for everything in health care.

OK I know you don't believe me, the world is not that bad that people are dying just to save profits. Yes it is and don't just take my word for it. There is plenty of evidence, haven't you ever wondered why every time there is a fantastic new possible cure found it will vanish without trace.
Because Millions will become unemployed around the world as soon as cancer is cured, so it's never ever going to be allowed to happen.
So, next time someone tells you that they are running 10km or shaving half their chest for Cancer research , just mention that cancer was cured years ago but its good they are helping to fund millions of jobs around the world.

14 January, 2014

We're all (not) going to the Zoo tomorrow .

No one knows I have a daughter because she has never been allowed out of her room since she was born 8 years ago, I keep her locked in 24 hours a day 365 days a year. it's OK though really it is I go in twice a day and give her food and drink, just the basics that I know she likes porridge and water but its a perfectly good diet and she doesn't need variety just the basics.
And before you start complaining that keeping her locked in a room is wrong just remember she was born in it so doesn't know anything else, it's not cruel ,it's not wrong, how can she miss things that she doesn't know, or want for things she has never seen.
Still not convinced? Me neither, but its exactly what is happening in Zoos in this country and all around the world.
Wonderful animals that should be roaming over thousands of acres of land or climbing in forests or swimming in seas are locked in animal prisons so that snotty nosed school children can go and gorpe at them. They are fed a diet obtained by the most cost effect methods, stale bread from the supermarkets full of additives for some or the cheapest possible foods for others to maximise the profit of the zoos.
Zoos tell us that it's not wrong the animals were born in captivity as if this somehow makes it all Ok, and we let them continue. They try and justify it as conservation but when an animal escapes its shot dead as happen to wolves from Colchester Zoo the other month. But it's OK they were just wolves so no one should worry.
There is no need, no possible justification, for these animal prisons, there is the Discovery Channel, National Gerographic and many wildlife documentaries where children can see animals as they should be, free, wild and living a purposeful life.
Children should not be told that Zoos are fun or good places to visit, they should see the boredom and frustration that the locked up animals are suffering every day. They should be told to demand that these terrible places are shut down.

13 January, 2014

A visit to Microsoft (spoof)

Anyone with a Microsoft/Windows based computer will know the joy of their operating systems especially windows 8, the way that you turn your computer on and never wait more than an hour before you can actually usefully use it and the way everything is so simple even a rocket scientist can do it.
I decided to pay a visit to their UK offices and thank them in person for the amazing systems they produce for the home user.
I arrived at the carpark where the barrier was stuck in the down positing but a helpfull young man told me that he would park my car in a while, they were just carrying out a "CRITICAL UPDATE" to the barrier and it would be working again in about 5minutes, I left him my car keys he insisted I "DO NOT SWITCH OFF" my engine and leave the car with the boot open and a can of petrol by the fuel filler cap, he said it was company policy.
I walked to the main entrance and about to pull the door open spotted a sign saying that a "SECURITY UPDATE" was taking place to the doors and I would need to use the side entrance, I followed the signs and found a side door with a notice "TO OPEN PRESS THE ALTERNATIVE BUTTON WHILE HOLDING THE HANDLE AND SLIDING LOCK WITH RIGHT HAND AND PRESSING THE ENTER KEY WITH THE LEFT HAND" after 4 attempts the door opened slightly and two more attempts I was in.
Once in there were no directions to reception but after wandering I found my way.
I told the young girl on the desk who I was visiting and she asked for my 12 digit appointment code, unfortunately I had obviously written it down with a Capitol or zero where there should have been a lower case or letter O so I had to send an email to the girl on the desk for her to send me the code to my phone in order to ensure I was actually the person she was expecting.
The email didn't arrive, I had forgotten that I used my hotmail account not my outlook when booking the appointment, so we started again and my appointment was eventually confirmed.
I was told to wait in the canteen and directed to the lifts, go to the 10th floor she said, the lift will take you there you don't need to select a floor it stops on them all. I stood in the lift, the floor indicator showed 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-8-7-6-7-5-7-6-4-3-2-1. RESTARTING PLEASE WAIT- 5-6-7-8-7-6-5-6-7-8-9 and then 10. I have no idea how we went from floor 1 to 5 without moving.
Stepping out I was in the canteen which was closed while "UPDATES ARE IN PROGRESS THIS MIGHT TAKE SOME TIME"
I headed back to reception where the nice young girl input my appointment code again, yikes I gave her the wrong one first time so we had to do the email thing again, although I did remember outlook not hotmail this time.
She told me to go to the third floor where I would be met by the head of customer relations, I opted for the stairs which seemed to all be slightly different heights and angles, a sign informed me "UPDATES ARE IN PROGRESS BUT YOU CAN CONTINUE WALKING WHILE THESE TAKE PLACE" I did but the walk was very slow and difficult.
The third floor had six doors and a notice "PLEASE SELECT YOUR DEFAULT DOOR, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CHOICE" but gave no assistance on which door would be best for the head of customer relations. As it happened the first two doors stuck, the third opened but wouldn't close properly.
I headed for a desk with the sign "head of customer relations " hanging over it only to find another sign saying he had been " MOVED TO QUARANTINE" which I later found out meant he was off with a flu virus.
I walked back to the 6 doors only to find that five were no longer working but luckily the stuck open one had just enough room to squeeze through but did make an interesting click sound behind me followed by a speaker "THERE SEEMS TO BE AN ERROR PLEASE WAIT WHILE WE CHECK FOR A FIX" then it said "NO FIX AVAILABLE" all very odd.
The stairs down looked different, then I realised that for no reason that I could fathom the lights were changing random colours and would suddenly go out then all come back on white again.
Again at reception the girl asked me for my appointment number but I told her that I would leave it for today and headed for the exit, only to realise that the security update meant I hit the glass as I pushed the handle so checking no one had seen I took the side door, there was a notice "HANDLE MISSING" To open from the inside "SLIDE POINTER TO TOP RIGHT HAND CORNER THEN DROP DOWN TO BOTTOM CORNER AND SELECT OPEN" before the top arrow had slipped out.
The young man by the car park barrier was standing by my car with the barrier half up, he refused to let me take the car until he had emailed me to confirm my identity.
He should be out of hospital Friday.

Cholesterol the Myth and the Lies

When visiting a Doctor or attending fitness clubs we are faced with a multitude of notices and you can bet that one will be telling you to get your cholesterol checked. Its so important that we know our level because if it is too high then we need to take Statins to reduce it.
Everyone knows someone who has high cholesterol and is on statins, everyone should get tested and everyone must conform to the limit.


That is all wrong. No really it is and it is not me saying it, its a lot of very well educated scientists who have been saying it for a while now. Our Cholesterol level is irrelevant. I say irrelevant but what I mean is that it is not important in the way doctors have been telling us for years.

It all started with a cock up and the best way I have had it explained is like this.
If you are doing research into the cause of house fires you will see that at every house fire there are fire engines and firemen, so therefore it follows that fire engines and firemen must cause house fires. Simple. If you remove those then the fires will stop. No arguments the fire service cause house fires and it's completely proved by research.

Well you probably believed it with cholesterol so why not with fires?
The thing is that cholesterol is often present in people and someone made the huge leap from that to heart attacks and other problems. But for Cholesterol read the fire service, it turns up after an event. This event is inflammation in the body. When the body finds inflammation it uses cholesterol to help heal it in the same way that it would create a scar over a wound. So, in fact if you lower the cholesterol with drugs you stop the body healing itsself and unless you are tackling the inflammation you are turning off the water in the fire service pipes and letting the house burn out of control.

Some news papers and medical journals have been publishing this but unfortunately the sale of Statins was $82billion in 2011 so there is a lot of pressure to keep people popping them.
There is also the problem that although the original research has now been completely discredited a lot of doctors who trained under the cock up theory keep saying "everyone knows high cholesterol is bad for you" and ignoring the fact the world has changed.
Companies selling products that they claim lower cholesterol like flora and other chemically manufactured gunk make way too much money to admit that what they are really selling is a cock up theory from 40 years ago.

The evidence is out there, in publications by doctors, scientists, cardiologist and on the web, but the drug industry is worth billions and in some cases your GP will be getting a nice little incentives to both test you for cholesterol and then prescribe you the drug the drug company rep has paid him to promote.
There is so much money to be made by scaring people about cholesterol, it sells all kinds of foods and it makes people take unnecessary drugs. Doctors make a profit from it and even Sainsburys teams up with Flora margarine to offer people unnecessary testing in the supermarket ending the in store advert with "helping you live well for less" shouldn't that be live less well.
It started with a research cock up 40 years ago, so isn't it time it stopped.

21 March, 2013

Spaz Mobiles - Revisited

There was a time when if you googled  Spaz Mobile this blog came up as the first entry, but sadly things have changed and now it is nowhere to be seen.

The increasing number of these darn machines never stops. We have them blocking the roads at 4mph and trying to kill us in the supermarkets because they selected 8mps by mistake. I was beeped at in Sainsburys the other morning by a woman in her Spaz Mobile, because she thought I was taking too long looking for something I assume. I so nearly stuck a wedge of stilton behind her wheels or a roll of tin foil over her battery terminals.
There is something else about these machines that no one seems to realise, they are making people ill, I don't just mean when they crash or people fall out of them either.
Consider this; before the introduction of the spaz mobile the old and infirm would be seen struggling up the roads on sticks or walking frames, shuffling through the shops and dragging their wheeled trollies home again, puffing and panting as they struggled to get about. A trip to the shops would take all morning and by the time they had packed the PG tips into the pantry they were knackered.

Oh that's terrible I hear you cry, but before you decide I am an evil person ( I am but lets pass over that here) consider the world of the Spaz Mobile users. They shuffle from the power assisted arm chair into the Spaz Mobile and there they sit as they hit the streets to rain terror and cracked ankles upon the rest of us. The only part of granny getting any exercise is the wrist as they open it up to full throttle. This also applies to the ever increasing number of obese people who are using the darn things.

They may help people get about, they definitely cause chaos on the roads and in the supermarket and unless someone can prove otherwise I suggest they are reducing the amount of exercise their users are getting even if they used to struggle to take the exercise.
Lack of exercise for the old or obese can't be a good thing, now can it.

14 November, 2012

Carbon Neutral heating - or maybe not.

There are people in the world who believe that something can be done about global warming, they seriously think that even though the ice age ended itself without the assistance of Range Rover 4x4s that by buying their electricity from Green Southern Elec-Trickingyou Ltd they will save the planet.

Everyone is jumping on the band waggon, saying that their product will save the planet,  Dyson for example sell a vacuum cleaner that has no carbon brushes in the motor and  claim it "emits no carbon". Seems they miss the small point that the carbon dust sent out from electric motors is nothing to do with the carbon dioxide which has nothing to do with global warming.
Now even the local log company is trying to claim the green moral high ground. The advert at the top of this entry includes the line "providing you with carbon neutral heating". Really ?
Hold on, they are telling me that burning logs is carbon neutral. Using their logic you can say the same for coal and gas, oh and probably petrol too.
I bet their argument will be that the trees are from sustainable forests, oh yes that's it, still that doesn't negate the fact that when you burn a tree it releases carbon along with other pollutants. 
Ok ill be generous, if they give you a tree and then plant another then eventually the carbon you release will be taken back. No hold on, the tree would still only be carbon neutral if it was cut down by hand saw, then dragged to your door on the back of a donkey.
But it isn't, these logs are from Sweden where they will have been cut using a petrol saw, loaded using a diesel tractor taken by diesel truck to a drying kiln and probably dried using gas. Loaded onto a oil powered ship and brought to the UK where they go by road to the distribution yards and eventually delivered to your door on the back of a diesel pickup.

So exactly how carbon neutral is heating by logs?

11 November, 2012

This is an Important Anouncement!

I don't watch adverts, I have said this before, but I do see them.
What do I mean , well when I am at my gym slogging away on the treadmill they refuse to fast forward the ads on the screens so I can't avoid them.
Most recently there has been an increase of the " THERE NOW FOLLOWS AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT"
I remember when I was a kid if that caption was on the screen it mean someone important had died or we had declared war. These days it means nothing so interesting, now it means "here comes an advert for a company you don't need"
It's is usually for blasted PPIs, which if you we're daft enough to fall for its your own fault, and is there anyone in the country who is actually stupid enough to believe there will be an important announcement in every break during deal or no deal? No need to answer that, the existence of that program proves there must be.
Since these scum companies have taken over the Important Anouncement field if there ever is anything important to alert the nation to we will all miss it, assuming its PPIs we will remain slogging along on the treadmill or making a cup of tea before Noel Edmunds returns with another set of people prepared to pretend they see any point in his TV quiz.

01 November, 2012

Victims need closure ?

It is risky but I will  comment on the hype that is this Jimmy Savile investigation.

The number of people who claim to have been assaulted by him grows every day, and since there was mention of compensation the number has jumped to about 400 and will no doubt go higher.

The police will take all the reports they can get, its great for the detection rate stats, and solicitors will make a fortune representing anyone who wants to claim he molested them.

I have had conversations with people on twitter who tell me that the victims have to be heard, believed and given closure. That these victims must seek counselling and be given support. Really?

And here is exactly where I get stuck.
Imagine listening in on the session between one of the victims and the professional trying to trash their brain and bring back all the bad memories, sorry I meant to say the counsellor.

Victim " It was terrible what he did to me"
Counsellor "Its OK you did nothing wrong and he is dead now he can not hurt you any more"
V " But I feel so terrible about it"
C "Its OK you did nothing wrong and he is dead now he can not hurt you any more"
V " He did things to me that I will never forget"
C "Its OK you did nothing wrong and he is dead now he can not hurt you any more"
....... and so on forever .

The closure can not be any more final than he is dead, talking about it now will make it worse for any victim I guarantee.
I have no doubt that there are people who are jumping on the band waggon and making false claims and if there is even the risk that one of these people is awarded compensation for something that did not happen then no compensation must be awarded to anyone.

He is dead.
That is closure!

27 October, 2012

The Wifi Prayer

Our wifi who art around us hallowed be thy signal.
The data comes, for everyone in home and in office.
Give us this day our blog updates and deliver the twitter, the facebook and apps you send us.
Find the searches on google, and deliver us the email.
For wifi has the power the way and the signal.
Forever and ever
Login !
Copyright Essexblogger 2012

25 October, 2012

It's still just snake oil!

I was in the local chemist today, I walked and was worried because I thought I had walked into a meeting of a local OAP organisation. There must have been 50 people, all over 60 and all there for one reason, prescription drugs!

The older generation are very quick to pour scorn on the young for drug abuse, smoking the occasional joint or maybe one of those weird blue tablets that make them high or low or whatever they do at the clubs. Yet once they hit a certain age OAPs seem to be popping lethal prescription drugs without question.

There is a lot of talk  about statins with doctors saying that everyone over 50 should be prescribed them to stop 1 in 100000 of us dying of a heart attack or stroke or some such thing. Some doctors, probably the ones getting a good backhander from the statins manufacturer, have been on TV, radios and the WWW saying how these drugs are the best thing since sliced ham. 
So why is it every time I hear these doctors all I can think of is an old western where an outlaw is selling snake oil from the back of a cart, scamming everyone that it is the elixir of life.

Those advocating statins don't mention that more people are likely to die from the side effects than from a heart attack, or that the statins industry is worth £28billion world wide. Those who survive the statins may well find their lives destroyed by the drug.  
If they were still being offered from the back of a wagon by a man with a leather hat and a colt 45 we would all run a mile. But now the snake oil salesmen have got clever, they call themselves GPs and everyone is happy.

Statins are just the tip of the iceberg, there are millions of drugs prescribed every day that do more harm than good. Many of the old folk I saw will be taking something for old age followed by something to counteract the side effects of that drug and then something to replace something that the second drug depletes them of and so on until the prescription is 10 drugs or more. It doesn't take a genious to work out each OAP in bringing in a few £thousand a year for the drug industry.
It has even been proved that as soon as you start taking some drugs your body develops immediate dependence on them, diabetes being a classic example. An illness that can be cured by diet alone but if word got out would cost the industry billions. Still as long as they get you to start on their drug your body shuts down its own defences and you are hooked. Think £millions.

At least snake oil salesmen back in the wild west left town as soon as they had scammed everyone and the oil didn't do any harm.

Today some are happy to keep going back for more and more snake oil, as long as the doctor says take it they don't question it.
Most probably the chat as they all meet in the chemist has done them far more good than their prescription drugs ever will.

Interesting the choice of symbol used by the medical prefession too, dont you think ?

Where the heck have I been?

I am sure that anyone who is a regular reader of this blog assumes that I have either given up writing or died.
No such luck, I am still here and about to start writing again.
So where have I been, simple I have been busy doing other things.
I have other responsibilities along side writing this blog I also have a very active Twitter account where provide expert advice on a multitude of subjects. And on top of that I was out of the country for a while.

But here I am, back and ready to start imparting words of wisdom or just general nonsense comments on the workings of the world.

Sorry if you have missed me, sorry if you haven't .


02 May, 2012

Olympic Security - a danger to everyone!

Today is an historic day, its the first day since the Second World War that fighter jets have been stationed to protect the skies over London.
Don't panic we are not at war, its just the Olympics.
We are not allowed to ask why it is OK to turn London into a military zone just so someone can run, jump, throw or whatever, and anyone who dares to question it is being "unpatriotic". We are all supposed to think the Olympics is brilliant. Although 57% in a survey could not give a fury duck about it.

It is all about advertising, a team of people will even be employed to make sure someone like me doesn't publish a logo like this or a You Tube clip of anything inside the stadium. Its an add campaign financed by the tax payer costing £11billion,  put on for a minority of people. Still don't let that stop the security of the games taking president over everything. Including the safety of anyone not at the stadium.

The security is completely unusable. It has been said that it will be better to sacrifice 200 innocent people on a hijacked plane rather than let it crash into the stadium. But if that is even a possibility then the games should not go ahead.

If a missile is launched resulting in any civilian casualties there would be more civil unrest in this country than anyone could imagine. If anyone is shot by one of the snipers and it turned out that the only offence they had committed was wearing a Pepsi T-shirt inside the stadium beside the Coca Cola stand then the games would be over, forever.

There will be military and police boats on the Thames with the power and equipment to sink other craft, imagine that, a pleasure craft could be targeted and sunk because they believe a terrorist is on board only to find that its grandad with his zimmer frame using it to point at a swan.

The Olympics is not about sport, its only about money and the Army, Navy, Air force and Police are being employed at full strength to ensure that the advertising goes on.

The security is operation overkill and all we can hope is that is doesn't turn into operation civilian killed, because if that happens the country will never forgive Coe and the other idiots who think its a good idea to turn London into a military zone in the alleged name of sport.

25 April, 2012

Why can somone be worth more dead than alive?

I have already been criticised for this question on Twitter but when has that ever stopped me saying what I think. It is not mean as disrespectful to anyone, if you take it that way that is up to you.

In the London Marathon last weekend thousands of people ran for charity, well  they will tell you that but in the majority of cases the truth will be more that they wanted to run the marathon and decided to get sponsored to do it. I doubt anyone actually thought I have to run this for all the homeless hamsters in the world and if I don't my life is worthless.

Sponsorship is something I have never understood, why would I want to give someone money to go and do something they want to do so that they can give it to a charity. Why not just be honest and tell me that they think I should give money to homeless hamsters or one legged ducks or whatever.

Yet millions of people are not logical, they don't think it strange to give away money for someone to walk the great wall of China, or amble 20miles through the wonderful countryside.

What makes sponsorship even stranger is what happened at the weekend. A woman died while running and because she died hundreds of thousands of pounds has been given to the charity she was running for.
According to one person who slagged me off already  "she gave her life for a charity". No sorry she didn't, she died while she was running and happened to have been sponsored for £500 for the charity. There is a world of difference.

It is terrible that the woman died, and her friends and relatives must be in a terrible state, but none of this explains why thousands of people gave money to the charity she had been sponsored for. What about all the people who ran for equally or more worthy charities, just because they didn't die they get deserve less?

I am not, as one person suggested, being disrespectful to the dead woman, why would I want to be, all I am trying to do is understand why anyone can be worth more dead than alive, why so many think that sending money to a charity does anything relevant to her death and why most of those people had not already given to The Samaritans before.

There is a comment button below, if you have a view please share it.


The Great UK Drought Scam

As I sit with rain lashing against the conservatory roof the rain gauge is showing that we have had another 20 mm of rain  in the last 5 days, taking the total to over 40mm this month so far. I sound a bit weather geek but its only a plastic rain gauge for £5.99 stuck in the garden.

And the point of sharing this information, simple, this area of the UK is officially in DROUGHT.

Hands up anyone who thinks 40mm of rain in a month is a drought, OK and now anyone working for a privatised water company put your hands down. Look no hands.

The most likely reason that the water companies think we are in a drought is because they have all moved their offices to India, with the next reason being that the population of the country has doubled in 80yrs but water towers have been ripped down or sold off, under ground reservoirs have been filled in and built upon and not a single new reservoir has been built.

But, you might say, the environment agency have just been on TV showing a river depth gauge that's showing how low the river is.
That man made depth gauge stuck in the river shows what? We are given an expected depth for April but that is a figure completely made up, is has no relevance other than for someone to say "oh look how low this river is" If you started working out the averages this year then when  the river is 3 metres deep you would be saying the river is very flooded for this time of year.

Nature is nature, it didn't grow a depth gauge and it doesn't have a correct level of water for a river, the river drains the rain away if and when it comes. It is only man that has decided how much water should be in the river at any given time and that is decided by how much the water companies need.

There is no drought in the UK, I have collected 300ltr of water just off of my greenhouse roof and the waterbutts have been overflowing for a week. But there are privatised water companies who have not invested in collection and storage enough to keep up with the massive explosion of population in this country.
They have however put up our bills by an average 6% this month. They didnt say as much about that as they did about hosepipe bans, did they.

16 April, 2012

Professorship in Wrong - And statins kill

An article I read the other day just touched upon something very important.
It said that although people have been told that they need to take statins to reduce their cholesterol scientists are realising that statins are not safe, we don't need to take them and that if you do you are more likely to die from cancer. Great, good one the medical profession.

Eating just 2 apples a day will control your cholesterol level with no side effects, well other than the $26billion industry in the USA alone producing statins might suffer as golden delicious take over. But cholesterol is probably not harmful after all, its all to do with inflammation and not cholesterol.

Your GP won't tell you you don't need them after all because he can't be seen to have been wrong, he has also agreed with a supplier to prescribe their Statins. Go on I dare you to ask a GP "is it true statins are dangerous and no one needs them" I bet you get a " I don't know who told you that but statins are the most important drug since ......."

Back to the point, what was also mentioned is that although someone may be a professor or an "important" person with letters after their name maybe even  published numerous papers or articles on a subject, if they are wrong they are wrong, no matter how many times they write about something.

No matter how clever, anyone can be wrong, the more they write and publish about a theory the less likely they are to firstly to realise they are wrong, and secondly if they do they find they have been wrong they  are very unlikely to stand up and say " hey guys, sorry all the papers I have published in 20yrs are wrong, oops, as you were". The world was once, without question flat remember!

Someone famous once said "a theory maybe taken as fact, but only until another theory comes along".

So next time an eminent person stands up and tells us something is fact say thank you smile and suggest they please contact you again if they change their mind.

Remember, the only information you know for certain is true is what you read here ,and if I find I have been wrong I promise I will tell you.

06 April, 2012

Stuart Turner Pumps

The other week I read an article about how the furniture industry pay for "independent assessors" to turn up when people have a problem, they then write reports saying there is nothing wrong,  I was disgusted that customers are treated this way.
Then I had a problem with a Stuart Turner shower pump and experiences the situation first hand.

Initially I was extremely pleased, when I phoned up their pump assist line to say I had a problem with a pump that is only 16 months old,  the guy took details and within the week an engineer was attending, it all seemed so easy.

I had expected the engineer to come in with a new pump or at least a tool box so I was a little bemused that he only had a clipboard and pen. A pleasant enough chap I showed him to the offending pump and without even looking at it he started ripping off the pipe lagging in the cupboard. Next he asked to go into the loft and on the way up asked "are you off the water tower" , "not a clue" I replied.

He clambered into the loft and lifting the top of the 100 gallon tank there exclaimed that was the problem, my tank fills too slowly, "you have really low pressure downstairs don't you?" " um no, really good actually".

He explained that what was happening was I was running the tank empty taking a shower and causing problems with the pump. I don't think I used that much water, not for a shower!

He proceeded to turn on both showers on full and hot and let them run for 10 mins to prove my tank would empty. After using my days supply of hot and costing me a few quid in water he clambered back into the loft, I could almost hear his disappointment, the tank had only gone down about 5%.

OK so can't blame it on the water the next thing was to start on the pipework, jackpot, look this is 15mm pipe it should be 22mm and oh look another bit of 15mm here too. I could hear the joy in his voice.

He hadn't even looked at the pump and during the whole visit the only time he touched it was to stick one of his company adverts onto it, it was at this point I realised the way it works.
Unless the pump is fitted 100% to a load of details in a booklet that comes with it then even if the pump was manufactured with half its bits missing its not their fault, its an "installation problem".

The guy was possibly a very good plumber/engineer but his only purpose on behalf of Stuart Turner Pumps is to find a get out for their warranty to be void.

I had been told that the pumps are so well made you can "run them with the valves closed" , yet when a section of 15mm pipe is found where they say it should be 22mm in their booklet, not matter what any plumber on earth may say your warranty is void.

"Its usually installation faults that cause the problem" , yes I bet it is, I also bet he didn't have a replacement pump in his car and probably not even a spanner. I can imagine him telling all his mates how in 10yrs of being contracted to Stuart Turner Pumps he hasn't yet not managed to find a reason to void the warranty.

Maybe they do sell thousands of pumps that have no problem, but I wonder how many of the people who have a problem ever manage to get it fixed under warranty. Oh and did I mention a huge call out charge if they don't find a problem with the pump.

The moral of this entry, don't waste money on an expensive pump with 5yrs warranty, go buy something cheap, then when it fails after a few years you can chuck it out and buy another and still be in pocket.

05 April, 2012

Anglian Water Hosepipe Ban is a disgrace!

From today 20 million people in the UK can't use their hoses. Well unless you have a Blue Badge for your car, which for some reason exempts you. Yes really!
It would make sense if every water company in the area was banning hoses but some companies, right in the middle of the "drought area", are happy that they have no need to bring in a ban and see no problem with supply this year.

Our provider is Anglian Water, and they have introduced a ban, yet just 12 miles away the water company there has not.

I bet that if anyone from Anglian was asked about this they would reply along the lines of "the other company covers a far smaller area and fewer customers than Anglian".  So what have Anglian done about this, have they build more reservoirs in the last 30 years, have they improved water capture in this part of the country to make water available for the millions of new housed built around the South East in the last 20 years. NO!

All Anglian water have done to ensure that they provide water for their customers is fix a few pipes, put up the prices and hoped it rains.

Now that we have had a period of dry weather (but didn't it rain loads last summer)  its up to "everyone to play their part and conserve water"
Buy a water butt from Anglian water and you can get one half price, it will still cost you more than 2 from a DIY store which goes to prove that Anglian Water is in the business of making money not providing a service.
Of course I agree water should not be wasted and we are lucky in the UK to be able to turn on a tap and have safe drinking water. But as some companies can manage water storage during this "drought" then it proves beyond any arguments that the companies that are imposing bans are just not good at their jobs.

If you are unhappy with a shop, your electricity/gas supplier or maybe your car mechanic you simply go elsewhere, but with water you are stuck there is no choice, so if like 20 million people you have a company that is just not up to the job its tough. I guess some locals around here are thinking I'm wrong and just look at Abberton they are spending millions on the reservoir, yes they are, its in the middle of Anglian Water area but its not theirs and the water from there doesn't go to the local area.

And what happens if we don't have what Anglian Water call "enough rain", they will impose further restrictions until I guess the taps stop running and we have stand pipes.

If your a share holder dont worry, we wont be seeing a reduction in the daily standing charge so profits are safe.

27 March, 2012

Sainsbury's - Dont trust their price comparison info!

Sometimes I need to write a lot but on this occasion a simple picture says so much.
Salisbury's try to con people into buying more expensive products by giving incorrect information.

And here is their latest amazing attempt to catch people out, but you would have to be mental not to spot it :-

30 January, 2012

Grifters - Or as they prefer to be known, Bankers

There is a really good programme on TV called Hustle in which a group of grifters set about pulling off amazing con tricks on all sorts of people. They make a very good living out of these high value scams and always seems to be one step ahead of the law. The programme is fiction, but hold on is it.....

Move on to a subject I have touched on before, possibly a few times, the City Bankers.
These people have grifting off to an art way ahead of the team depicted on the Hustle. They continue to take millions of pounds from all of us every day and although now and again there is a rumble in the papers no one goes to prison and no one is stopping them.

If anyone dares to suggest that a certain banker isn't worth his £6million bonus they trot out the same old grifters cry, "you need to pay me this because otherwise Ill leave". OK leave, we won't miss you.
And if that doesn't do it they say " you have to pay me millions or you will get someone who doesn't do this job as well as me", really?  Aren't all the overpaid bankers in the main the same ones we were paying millions to when they let the financial system around the world crash. "Oh yes but you have to remember that wasn't our fault, no one saw that coming".... and so they drone on.

The amazing thing is the number of people who are falling for the grifting clap trap they spout and continue to pay million to someone who is doing a job that is no more difficult than any other but who have built themselves up in the imagination as being super human beings, people who are preventing the entire financial system, and therefore the planet, from crumbling down.

Why isn't anyone able to knock these people down to size. Its not difficult to see through them to the fact that they are holding the entire country to ransom, blackmailing the country and making millions for doing very little.

I suggest that not a single one of them could not be replaced with someone equally as good who would be more than happy to do it for a fraction of the cost of these self appointed gods of finance. Yet for some reason no one has the bottle to tell them to go.

How people have let themselves be fooled by these grifters and continue to do so is amazing and as they laugh at us from their multi-million pound life styles we can only hope that one day they will be exposed for the people they are.
Bankers are nothing special, just grifters who rather than scamming individuals are managing to take whole countries for billions.

grift (grft) Slang
1. Money made dishonestly, as in a swindle.
2. A swindle or confidence game.
v. grift·ed, grift·ing, grifts
To engage in swindling or cheating.
To obtain by swindling or cheating.

25 January, 2012

National Saving and Investiments - Security gone mad!

We are all pleased when the people looking after our money are making sure it is secure but sometimes the security they use is not only over complicated but pretty much useless too.

Take for example NS&I, otherwise known as the UK National Savings and Investments.

I bought some premium bonds the other month and when  I did this they registered me for on line management of my account. While doing this they sent me a form to complete and sign requesting a password for the account they had set up for me.
I completed the form and sent it off, but, silly me in the meantime I have shredded the letter they sent me with the number to log in with.
So I went on the website and hit "forgotten customer number", expecting it to be like every other banking organisation that I either fill in a form or complete an on line contact form, nope it says ring them to request they resend the number.

I phoned, a lad called Kevin answered and in between calling me sir every second word told me that they can't send me the number unless I write to them. But its the 21st century no one writes letters this is crazy you sent me the number in the first place, I just want it sent again to the same address as last time.

He transferred me to a lady who thankfully didn't feel the need to say sir every other word, but oh, this is not what I expected she wants to re-set my password. OK, maybe we do this first so it has to be letters including one uppercase also numbers and also non-numeric, and I have to remember this, no chance.

So she sets up my password as HowtheF***ingHelldo1rememberth15 and then says is there anything else I can do for you, Um yes, I need my customer number, its great having the password changed for no reason but I can't log in without the number which is why I phoned.

We cant send that to you unless you write to us because you could be anyone at that address who has happened to find the password. Um, OK I am now laughing insanely down the phone at her.

So I am supposed to go on line print off a form and send it in so they can send me a form with my customer number which actually would be no use to anyone but me because its me who has changed the password now in any case.

Quite how that is more secure than them just sending me the bloody number now I have asked for it is beyond me and I really can't be asked to bother.

But this is a government organisation so why I was expecting sensible I don't know.