Life, The Universe and Small Things all covered in one friendly blog.
Remember DON'T PANIC! .

25 February, 2010

I've seen the tripod police!

On the day I read about a father who was told to stop taking photos of his own child in a shopping centre by some dim witt security guard who then called the police, who unbelievably also told the guy off and to delete the pictures (yea ok copper go get a court order) I also saw the London tripod police at work.

It was amazing to see the speed they struck, the photographer and film guy were only just on Trafalgar square when the first one of the gang hit them with "what exactly are you intending to do here". In no time at all two other tripod cops had rushed into the battle then some other member of the SS in his blue coat joined in and out came the fixed penalty pads.

Its unbelievable, there are so many stories of people being threatened under anti terror laws and videos on the www of police making up laws to demand photographers detail and of people being arrested for "suspicious behaviour" when filming a Christmas parade now a father being told he is a paedophile for taking shots of his own child. How did it come to this.

As both I and the other half are frequently carrying both stills and video cameras in public places I guess it is only a matter of time until some mini-Hitler security guard or community support officer tried to tell us off, I can't wait. When asked what I am doing I shall say that I am working for Al-Qaeda taking photos of young children to train as prospective suicide bombers.

The old one eyed scotish idiot in number 10, when asked about the problem of photographers being harrassed for no reason, said that it was only right that the police had the power to control the taking of photographs in public places. Yes of course it is Gordon, the same way you want to control every other aspect of our lives.

Thank goodness we live in a democracy.

16 February, 2010

Inflation hits 3.5%

Everyone in the UK knows inflation is at 28%, petrol has risen at over that in the last 12 months, but in the land of fairies, where Gordon and the rest of his fools live, they are pretending that inflation hit 3.5% today.
As it hit 3.5% the governor of the Bank of England has to write a letter to the chancellor explaining why. I can't be the only person who thinks this is the most stupid thing ever, am I?

The letters are published but the latest one to be publish will be a cover up, here is the content of the actual letter as written by Mervyn King to Alistair Darling.:-


The CPI inflation rate to be published tomorrow by the Office for National Statistics is 3.5%, thank the lord that they are not publishing the actual figures and that your bribes and Gordon's threats continue to keep them in check.

I am therefore writing this open letter to you, on behalf of the MPC explaining why inflation has risen above target and what I propose to do about it.

The simple reason for the rise is the sheer incompetence of you and that twit in No.10 who's policies trashed the country while he was in your office and continue to do so with your help to this day. To be frank things are a mess, you are well aware inflation is running at a massive amount over 20%. For heavens sakes even tin tomatoes have gone from 13p to 31p and bananas are up to.

I welcome this opportunity to explain to you what I intend to do about this matter and while many of my colleagues in the banks are grateful to you for their jobs and bonuses this year I as governor was never under threat and my £300k a year basic and £4million pension is doing just fine thank you.

What I and the rest of the MPC will do is simple, vote for anyone but your lot at the general election.

Yours sincerely

12 February, 2010

Toyota recall, and other things in the news

Toyota Recall.
I find it interesting how some people think, for example there are people saying that if you crash in a Toyota you can not be prosecuted because they are known to have defective brakes and sticking accelerators.
That must makes it even easier to prosecute someone after a crash, not only have they been a crap driver but they decided to drive knowing they had defective brakes and an accelerator likely to stick at any moment.
In fact why let it get to that, all police vehicle examiners with prohibition powers should be out there issuing prohibition notices to all Toyota drivers, get them off the road before they crash, that's what I say.

Gordon, the really sick PM.
Regular readers of the blog know that I have no respect for the one eyed Scottish idiot we are stuck with in number 10 Downing Street, but even I was aghast at how low he will sink to keep his position.
How can anyone so awful be in charge of the country, OK that was a rhetorical question its because he threatens anyone who tries to speak against him.
Is there anyone else who would use their dead child as a tool for political aims. To go on national television and use the "cry for me you bunch of easily led fools" ploy going on about how he held his dying child as it dies. You sick individual Brown how on earth do you live with yourself.

The Banking Crisis Explained
I have heard an explanation of the banking crisis in a way I can understand so it is only right that I pass it on, in case like me you were confused why we have given them billions of pounds.
It is simple, the banks use their money like a gambler and they put bets on things, this week apparently they are all betting on the Euro.
How they do this is a mystery.
The banking crisis is apparently as simple as this; your best mate borrowed your life savings and lost it all on the roulette wheel. Then he came back to you and said "sorry pal I lost your life savings, but don't worry you go get a loan and give me the money and I will go and win this time". Now we are in the "mates gone back to the casino" time, because some twit gave them more money.
Still whats £800 billion between friends. Nothing at all if you believe Gordon.