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28 August, 2011

Oi Fatty, Get off the plane!

Did you hear the news saying that by 20something more people in the UK will be obese than you could possibly believe. I wonder how much that research cost when all they had to do was follow me around Sainsburys one week and observe the lard-arses wobbling around the store.

There was also a fantastic exchange on BBC radio between a fatty and someone who is tired of having his personal space taken by other peoples bodies. It is quite disgusting seeing these huge lumps wobbling along but when you take a seat and find they want your space too it really does go too far.

Public transport can be the worst places at the best of times but when you suddenly find a 20 stone fatty invading your space I think you should have some redress.

I am also a little worried about fatty on a plane, if one sits next to me and starts spilling into the seat I have paid for I will be holding up the plane big time while they find fatty or me a new seat. Its bad enough that fatty has been able to bring all the extra weight on-board for free in the first place so I am damned if I will give them part of my seat to carry it on.

The other thing that concerns me is if fatty is sitting by the over-wing emergency exits. Have you seen those things, they are tiny. If we need to use them and fatty is first in the queue we are all done for. I mean they don't let you carry a penknife to slice you way past the rolls of fat anymore, so how does anyone get out.

There has already been a plane crash because of fatties, yes really there has. It crashed on take off and killed all on board. So I think it is a reasonable question to ask why aren't people weighed before they are allowed on a plane, also maybe required to prove they fit into a seat without spilling into the next one.

The final point that worries me is, in the event of having to exit the aircraft using the inflatable slides , are they tested for fattties to jump onto. If not then shouldn't the drill be "women, children and normal sized people exit the aircraft then fatty your on your own".

If your offended in any way by this blog entry then probably your the kind of person who needs to lighten up a little. Probably in both senses of the word.

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