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25 October, 2010

Babies make you mental.

What is it about some people that they seem to lose their minds as soon as they have children. The first thing that happens is they lose all sense of spacial awareness and are happy to smack into anyone or anything with the metre wide baby buggy, you know the one that comes with attachments for everything from feeding, changing and bathing the child to turning into a nuclear shelter, no really some do.

The next thing that seems to happen to new mothers especially is that they have to talk all the time about the child as if it was the only one ever born and as though anyone really gives a hoot how much it weighed at birth. What is that all about.

We then move onto the stage where the parents truly believe that their child can do no wrong and that no one else maters. It is perfectly acceptable for it to scream its head off in a restaurant or coffee shop or worse still plane and we all have to accept it .

The reason I am on this subject is because of an hilarious incident in Sainsburys. Imagine the scene, there is a demented woman with a young child in the shopping trolley, rather in the seat of the trolley, as far as I know you can't buy them there yet. The woman is bobbing and jigging about doing "iggiy giggy wooble do, dadad doo" noises and waving her arms and dancing as if she is possessed, I'm sure the child looked more scared than amused.

The woman leaves the baby facing away from her and walks back to the chiller cabinet maybe 6 or 7 metres away, the only thing is she is still doing the little dance waving her arms and making the noises. Fantastic!

I wish my phone video camera wasn't so difficult to work because I would have had a Youtube hit. There is no understandable reason how she could possibly think what she was doing was sane. You have to wonder what chance the child has with a mother that mental.

Still at least it brought a smile to my face, even if the child was thinking "its all right for you mate, I have to live with her".

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