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23 November, 2010

The Irish Rescue Explained

There is so much fuss about the state of Ireland and its all rather baffling.
The good news is that the people in charge of both Ireland and this country have no better idea about things than you or I. How else can you explain where the worlds money has vanished to.

Still, Im here to help those who are even more confused than myself with a few points on this most perplexing issue.

First of all remember than the UK plc is pretty much broke and so the money that we are giving, opps I meant loosing, nope type slower, l o a n ing to Ireland is actually being borrowed from, um who knows where. But the good thing is that the UK is borrowing at only 3% and will charge Ireland 5% so when they don't pay us back we wont have made 2%.

It gets better, apparently we have to give Ireland the money because banks like RBS have a lot of business there and as we all know RBS are a real asset if you want to squander a few billion of tax payers money on the false hope you might get £50 back some day.

Next apparently is that Northern Ireland is part of the UK and would lose out if Ireland went bankrupt.

Yes, this is all getting boring and confusing so let me put it a simpler way.

Imagine your a shop keeper, you have lots of customers, the best way to increase your taking is to borrow about £7billion pounds and give it to your customers to spend. That way you are guaranteed to take £7 billion on the tills.

Well thats the plan, unfortunately in reality the customers will most likely piss off with the money and buy from a cheaper store or waste it on booze and fags.

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