Your guide to having a street party.

Remember the past, when you organised something and it happened, when the street decided to have a party and the most important thing to organise was tables and 60 chairs.
The village where I lived put a post across the road set up the tables and had a party. The thunder cracked the rain fell like no tomorrow and a local school teachers house was hit by lightning and set ablaze. Wow, those were the good old days weren't they.

At last, we have a reason to have another street party "The Wedding" .

Hold on don't rush to make the fairy cakes just yet its not that simple now. In fact its now so complicate that one council has published a brochure and is running courses on how to put on a street party. Seriously!

The world has truly gone mad. But as these things have to be done I thought rather than decry their efforts I would help. One of the important things that anyone wishing to organise a street party has to do, other than arrange insurance and have police checks made on anyone who will help at the event or I guess anyone who is likely to walk within 40miles of the tables is to do a "risk assessment". This will be complicated so I have thought of a few things that must no doubt be included.

The following pose a risk, your risk assessment document must include what you will do if one or more happens:-

Cars drive along the road into the tables

The tables have splinters or sharp edges

The sun shines/ doesn't shine.

Tables collapse/wobble/drinks are spilled.

A Qantas A380 flies overhead and loses an engine.

The jelly doesn't set.

The rock cakes are burnt posing a cancer risk.

Someone tries to take a picture but has not obtained permission from everyone within 2 miles.

Someone takes a video clip on their mobile phone and Twitters it, they are not police checked.

A child has a nut allergy, is lactose intolerant, scared of cucumber or is allergic to weddings.

I could go on forever, the chances of anyone actually covering all risks by April is unlikely to near impossible. And lets face it Claims Direct are waiting to help anyone who so much as grazes a knee at an improperly managed event.

Still who wants to eat outside in April anyway.