Gordon Brown and the Sinking Ship - Political Sketch

The sea was calm with wonderful views of the stars in the night sky as the ship crossed the Ocean.

Captain Gordon Brown sat on the bridge, he was happy with the quiet waters and busy telling everyone how fantastic he was as captain.

"You should see the way I handle this ship, I am so fantastic I know everything about her I am a great captain" he laughed.
As usual the other officers on the ships bridge were humouring him, wary of his fierce temper and aware that the slightest thing would send him into a rage.

"Captain, you do realise that in these waters it would be a good idea to make the most of the calm sea and make up some time, and oh, your heading has put us off course by about a hundred miles you know?" said one of the junior officers, rather sheepishly.
"Nonsense" shouted Gordon "I know exactly what I am doing keep to this heading and speed and all your seas will be calm"
"Yes sir, but we are very close to the reef"
"Never you mind, I am Gordon, while I am in command everything is just fine"
Gordon drank another glass of wine and looked at his watch. "slow the engines and head another 4 degrees north" He commanded.
"Um, yes sir, but on that heading we will actually hit the reef" replied David, the 2nd in command.
"Sir, I think Gordon is either drunk or mad, I really don't think he knows what he is doing, I could do a better job as Captain than him" whispered one of the junior officers to David.
David was already worried, "Captain we must change course and increase speed, I think that your [moral] compass may be faulty." he said.
"Are you questioning me" Bellowed Gordon, "And I heard what that junior rating said, he is relieved of his duties"
Gordon poured another glass of wine.

An alarm sounded on the control panel. "We only have 3 metres depth of water under the ship, all engines stop" commanded David.
"Disregard that order, continue on this heading and at this speed" bellowed Captain Brown.
"The Captain is either drunk or incompetent, ignore him I am taking command of this ship" Said David
"You are doing no such thing, you are relieved of your duties too" shouted the Captain.

The sound of the ships hull tearing against the reef as she lurched to port caused an instant hush to fall over the entire crew. Water began to fill the ship as it listed rapidly.

"I am in command" shouted David "shut all forward hatches and start the pumps, we can save her if we act fast"

"This is no time for a novice to be in charge, this ship needs a captain with experience, with excellent vision who knows how to drive her, I am the best man for the job" Shouted Captain Gordon.

"Ill leave you to it then" smiled David as he headed for the lifeboats.