It's OK, Panic Over!

Thank goodness it arrived I had been worried for days thinking that maybe mine was lost or perhaps we had been forgotten. I was ready to phone friends and ask them if they had received it yet, but now I don't have to worry any more.

I heard the letter box go and, as I have done for days, hurried to the door, yes oh yes its here. I am saved. The long awaited has arrived and now I can relax. The panic is over and all the answers are here, I now have all I need to survive.

I have to read it carefully and understand all that it tells me so I put the kettle on to make coffee, then I will sit down and read every word.
As the kettle begins to warm up I open it up and begin to read, before the kettle reaches boiling I have finished it. But hold on, this is not what I expected, it doesn't tell me anything, it might as well be a blank piece of paper, every thing on it has already been said a hundred times on the TV, radio and in the papers. There must be more, this must be a mistake.

But no, there is nothing more to it. The government information leaflet on swine flue turns out to be as much use as a chocolate T-pot.