Lost Pen

I went on holiday and took with me my favorite pen. Its a lovely pen very nice and to me priceless and totally irreplaceable. Its a pen I have had for nearly 4 years and has gone everywhere with me.
Anyway the thing is I left my pen on its own in the hotel lounge while I popped out and had a tapas in the bar just a few yards away. It really wasn't far away and I thought that I would hear the pen roll off the table if it did and so it would be alright while I had my dinner. It was after all just the best pen I could ever own and so I knew it would be fine left on a table on its own.
Well, when I got back to the hotel I found, bloody hell my pen has gone. I ran to the hotel reception and asked them where my pen was. "sorry I don't think we have seen it" .
I called the police. They came and I told them I just left my irreplaceable pen on a table while I went for dinner. It was with two small pencils that I had also left there. The local police had a look, but well to tell you the truth I am not very impressed with them they just didn't seem to know how to go about looking for a lost pen.
I called the press and told them about my pen and they sent some reporters who knew how to look for lost pens and how to get the police working properly.
The reporters also called back to the UK and got some politicians involved at saying how badly the local police were at looking for my lost pen and even got them to talk about it in the House of Commons.
I went on TV and told everyone how I had loved my pen and how I was so very careful not to lose it and all I did was leave it on a table and go off to dinner.
Everyone was so nice and told me that it was not my fault and that someone must have taken my pen and leaving it on a table was a perfectly acceptable thing to do.
That nice footballer Beakman made an appeal for my pen to be returned and people are offering rewards.
I took part in a film begging for my pen to be returned and it is being shown all over Europe. Millions of people thousands of miles away are watching the film and we have even made everyone at Wembley watch the film although I am not sure how that will help as my pen was not lost anywhere near there.
Next week shops will be displaying pictures of my pen all over the UK and even the nice people at Vodkaphone and Q2 are going to send unsolicited text messages to thousands of people asking them to look for my pen.
I know lots of pens go missing each year but the whole country knows that my pen is special and that its the only pen that matters. I am told that pen tracking firms are being swamped with enquiries from people for tracking devices that fit on pens so I am pleased that I am always in the news. The press are so very good, every time anyone mentions my pen they are filming it or printing about it. They keep asking me to show the two pencil that were also on the table but I have them safe in my pocket.
I don't feel a bit guilty for leaving the pen and its not my fault one bit if there are pen snatchers about.
Overkill? How very dare you!